I don’t yell at my students still, but I’ve been told more
than once to use my teacher voice. What does that even mean!?? I’m not a mom,
and I have no experience being a teacher, so how in the world am I supposed to
find my inner teacher voice before these kids drive me crazy?
Quick story: I was trying to get my students’ attention one
day not too long ago, and my para interrupts me by saying, “she’s trying to get
you all to be quiet! I am so tired of you disrespecting her, and talking over
her. The next person who opens their mouth is gonna get rotated! Do you understand??”
And I simply said, “Thanks.” Although this was a kind gesture on her part, she totally
embarrassed me! I felt like she had more authority in the classroom than me,
which she clearly did. The students stayed quiet the whole time, and worked.
Now, if I have to yell at my students for them to take me
seriously, then I am in big trouble. I cannot do it. I also know that you don’t
have to yell to get the kids to get them to listen—I’ve seen it with my own two
eyes!
Another quick story: Some days after that incident, my para
stepped in again, and by this time I was just annoyed because she had been the
main problem in the first place. She would not stop talking to a group of girls
asking her where she got her clothes… she went on a rant about thrift shopping and how she gets most of her clothes from
Goodwill. Anyway, I wasn’t feeling ballsy enough to interrupt them so I just
waited till she stopped talking. So, I finally begin the class and there were
side conversations going on, and that’s when she she stepped in. Then I said, “Okay.
Now that you guys are listening, I want you to work independently without any
talking.” Then a student asks if I can play music while they work and I said, “Nope.
I didn’t feel respected by you guys so you get to work in the quiet. I don’t know
why you guys have a hard time listening to me and doing what I ask…” Then a
student said, “Its cause you’re too nice.” WHAT??? I have no idea what to do.
I don’t want to yell, but I don’t know how to be firm
without yelling. Any ideas?
Denisse,
ReplyDeleteI would definitely confer with your CT if you're not feeling comfortable with this situation. Each individual has a role in the classroom, and yours is the authority, not the Para's. It's wonderful that she wants to help you, but we have to learn on our own, too. Like you, I hate yelling, it honestly just fuels the already blazing fire. I guess what I could recommend to you is speaking louder and stronger, without yelling. Girl, you're in charge, you can do this!
I found this article about a guy who seems to be quiet in nature like you, and he teaches younger children; however, I think you can find some encouragement through his words about his experience finding his teacher voice.
Plus, this website, Teaching Tolerance, is amazing!!
http://www.tolerance.org/blog/finding-best-teacher-voice-students
Good luck, dear! If you ever need anyone to talk to I'm so willing to listen.
Best,
Amber :)
Oh, it can be so tricky, Denisse! I remember the teacher my two oldest children had for fourth grade. I had been warned that she was "mean" and that she yelled a lot. So, I went in to meet her on the first day of school and volunteered in the school so I could kind of check up on the rumors. Guess what I discovered? She was one of the best teachers my kids have ever had. Yes, she had a loud teacher voice, but she was certainly not a yeller. She was more concerned about those kids and their learning than any other teacher they had at that school. So, don't fear that more volume means "mean." Sometimes you really will have to just be louder, but that doesn't mean you have to yell and scream. I know lots of teachers have other techniques for getting the students' attention, like a hand signal or a chime or something. The students also need to know that there will be consequences if they don't listen and settle down, whether that's keeping them after the bell for the same amount of time as they waste or something else. I know you'll figure it out. We're all figuring these things out together! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteDenisse,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading this, because I can most definitely relate. Your writing is funny, and I am not laughing at you, I am laughing with you, in frustration (does anyone else do that?).
I think the solution in your case consists of:
Being strict with the students and holding high standards in you classroom- which does not require yelling.
You can have a conversation about respect and what you expect: you can do classroom building activities, classroom contract, etc.
Also, developing a system to get their attention, you can try Harry Wong's theory of raising the hand and simply waiting once the hand is raised for students to be quiet(it really works!!!). You should develop a system that works for you, and that you feel comfortable with.
Consequences for the students should also be considered, and do not forget rewards, students need to hear what they do well, so being nice is easy here. *I have been using stickers and gum to motivate my students behavior =)
I have had a lot of issues with kids that have some similarities to those in your post.
I may be rambling but you really got me thinking.
I wrote in my personal journal the other day how important it is to remember to be yourself. I have a hard time knowing how to deal with myself, so I sure do not know how others will respond to me. Teaching is especially difficult because you are put on the spot, you must accept yourself and find what works for you in your class, with your students. They may remember all the goofy things you say and do, but it is what you model that will pass on to them. Nice teachers are hard to find =) and it is good to be unique